I want to click stuff and watch it blow up

I AM SPEAKING WORDS OF ATTENTION-GRABBITY BECAUSE ONLY THREE LINES APPEAR IN THE MAIN PAGE! Everything else, you have to click on “Read More”. I totally only found that out after posting.

Apparently pictures are good things.


Apparently I have a whole section here, which gives me a lot to live up to.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that walls of text work best with spurts of incredibly irrelevant pictures. Plus, they make people realize that I’m not all that relevant.

I never intended to write an entry today. But I came across this site and noticed an entire empty column just for me to fill, and I COULDN’T POSSIBLY LEAVE IT EMPTY ANY LONGER. Because I’m not very patient, and I don’t do well with delayed gratification.

I certainly don’t. I like to watch stuff blow up when I click on it. The other day, I was playing Red Faction and enemies there apparently takes THREE head-shots to kill. THREE. I like my stuff dying in ONE head-shot (two is cutting it pretty close).

Consequently, my spell-checker is set to “American English”, and I’ve spent the better part of the last 4 years (and the better part of the next 4, probably) in the glorious U-S-A. You can guess as to whether that has dampened my ability to delay gratification (I THINK IT SURE HAS, but that might just be me learning another all-too-American trait of NEVER ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY).

Oh boy. The number of things I could speak of playing games in the North American servers. All of which I CAN speak of, because of the glorious first amendment (which I can freely abuse since I’m not a celebrity and my free speech carries little consequence).

Wait, where was I?



And you’re wondering where all this leads. It totally doesn’t lead anywhere yet. A flaw of a short attention-span is the inability to actually develop points enough to say anything. Coupled with the love of hearing myself type (another inherited trait from the land of the free, HURRAH) this creates a huge waste of time for everyone.

I wasn’t always like this.

There was a time when I believed in “working hard to get somewhere”. When this thing they term a “knowledge barrier” in games was a strong incentive. When I bothered to know every card in the deck, every frame in a combo, every niche ability interaction (two of the previous statements are lies – I spent far too much time on an “almost proper Asian education” to manage those feats).

Then I started using Facebook. I Googled all my problems away. I started playing League of Legends.


I think it was when everyone started using the internet. It wasn’t so much that everyone started using it – it’s that the internet molded itself into something that everyone wanted to use. Somehow the smart people making computer games found out that they would be most successful if they didn’t project their values onto others – NO ONE WANTED TO MEMORIZE ALL 32767 CARDS WHILE DOING COMPLEX ARITHMETIC ON IMAGINARY NUMBERS.

All the math people want to do

They figured out that people just wanted short-term gratification. Meanwhile, their friends in the other most profitable field utilizing the internet (PORRRRN) had figured that out half a century ago.

Handheld games went from Tetris to COOKIECLICKER. Call of Duty introduced automatic weapons. Bioware decided that you no longer had to turn to fanfiction.net for gratuitous tales of your game’s protagonist boning through his supporting cast.


Have you ever made a game? Or pretty much anything? They say that there are many ways to do something right, but also many ways to do something wrong. Infinitely many, I’d think. Here is where English fails to capture the point as elegantly as math.

What? I’m talking about making games. I can include math.

If the number of ways to do something right was the natural numbers. The number of ways to do it wrong would be the real numbers.

For every way (of infinitely many) to do the right thing, there are infinitely more ways to do it wrong. When you make a game, you’re going to make some pretty horrible choices that you have no idea about. You’ll simply be aware of the finitely many wrong things you didn’t do. You’ll never know if you’ve made the right decision.

I believe they call that Turing-undecidable (although it’s probably ANYTHING-undecidable).


Where was I? At 4:40AM and programming non-stop for about 2 weeks. And managing to segue a rant about my short attention span into Turing-decidability (which I don’t understand, but I include to sound high and mighty to those who also don’t understand it but pretend to, like me).


This section is called Ant’s “Ramblings”. I intend to live up to the name.

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